once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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