We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
