Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
