Porn is love you can see.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
