can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
