How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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