wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize