umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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