You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
