If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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