WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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