guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
