This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize