i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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