I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize