in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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