so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
