Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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