I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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