I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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