how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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