Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
