I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
