just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
