eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize