In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize