There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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