so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
