My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
