I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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