OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
