I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
