youre lurking in front of me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
