oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
