I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
