so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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