We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
