Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
there is glitter all over my balls
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
