i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
