My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
