My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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