So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
