If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
