i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
