I can text with my tongue
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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