im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
