If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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