only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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