I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
