just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm at about main and main street
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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