Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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