I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
