In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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