FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
