so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
