i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
