Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
