Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
