There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
