You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
