she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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