stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
