I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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