I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
